Close to home

Oscar-Pistorius-20910935-1-402The trial we are all talking about, and how close to home it is.

I knew Reeva. I haven’t really spoken about this before, but she came to two of my birthday parties and showed my mother how to use a new dishwasher once. She was a friend of one of my ex-girlfriends and she and my brother were briefly interested in each other (I think, but don’t want to speculate). That girl was happy, beautiful, balanced, self-assured and very congenial. I’m not one for speaking too well of the dead (You may remember less kind comments about Manto Tshabalala-Msimang and Eugene Terre’Blanche) – so take it from me – all those nice things people are saying in those terrible, soft-focus documentaries about her were true.

I also knew Oscar. Well, I interviewed him once or twice and ran into him occasionally in public, at parties and events. I didn’t like or dislike him. We never swapped numbers or invited each other to anything, so I’d be lying if I said we were anything but shallow acquaintances. I admired that he had a sense of humour about the things I’d say during interviews about him getting legless on boats and standing up for himself. They were cheap shots and he knew I was making them for purely entertainment value… I hope. I try not to be mean, but I try even harder to be funny.

This trial is an ugly business. Like any other moron, at times I’m prone to jumping to the finish line and proclaiming him guilty or not guilty without going through the process the court has to, but I’m trying to keep level-headed and objective about what happened that fateful night. I’m not a lawyer so I don’t have to be meticulous about my arguments, and I’m not a fool, so I don’t have to boisterously and ignorantly claim that I know he’s either guilty or ‘innocent’. I’m sure you find yourself vacillating between arguments too. If you’re even an amateur behavioural observer you will have picked up a few things about Oscar, some of which are common in athletes, some of which you’ll recognise in celebrities and some of which are typical of a man or woman with a physical disability:

Athletes have to be dogged and determined. They need to win. They don’t like to lose and they have brittle egos. Athletes are used to being judged on performance and if they deliver results, aren’t used to having to comply with any other conditions. Check all of these for Oscar. Celebrities get away with a lot. They think they’re better than the common folk and usually can get past ordinary obstacles with either fame, money or connections. They have other celebrity friends and live in a rarified environment which exposes them to less and less of the day to day problems that confound people with normal jobs. They’re also often rich, and feel the rules don’t apply to them. I know these things because in my less guarded moments, I have been guilty of just that kind of bad behaviour. Some celebrities have relationships with models, actors and other well-known people because they’re cynically hoping to stay in the tabloids. The higher the celebrity climbs, the less people will tell him or her the truth , or risk offending or upsetting them, and that can include their families. Oscar’s desire to be considered ‘normal’ and compete against anyone in the Olympics must have been fuelled by some narcissism and egomania, as much as what might be regarded as healthy self-confidence. I’m in no position to comment on the psychological trauma of being born without legs, or having an amputation early in life, or losing a parent at 15. They must be devastating for a child to cope with, and I’m sure there is emotional detritus that stays with even the strongest people for most of their lives. I won’t guess at any more than that. I’m pretty sure Oscar’s drive to win came from a dark, sad place as much as it might have from a desire to overcome his adversities.

The manifestation of some of his less salubrious behaviour is coming to light too – firing off guns and being in perpetual fear of attack; smashing doors and chasing girls out of his house; mouthing off about a competitor’s blades in unsporting terms; threatening people like Mark Batchelor and Quinton van der Burgh with violence; the fact that ex-girlfriends were positively terrified of him; the lowly and frankly dodgy company he would keep; the outward displays of devil-may-care irresponsible public behaviour and ultimately shooting to kill a person – these must be seen in context. The context is a psychology doctorate waiting to be written.

I don’t claim to know any more than this, and I’m not saying Oscar is a murderer, but he’s an emotionally precarious chap. Ordinarily this would be more than enough to make me avoid someone like the plague. I only wish poor Reeva could have done the same.

216 Comments

  1. Lauren says:

    Exceptionally well written.

  2. Margi says:

    Well written Gareth.

  3. Tanja says:

    I agree with you, I know some of those mafia types he calls his friends, they powerful and I will never deal with them again, as I am terrified of them!

  4. Pen says:

    Well said and just so sad for all involved!

  5. Kim Martin says:

    Thank you for writing this Gareth. I was wondering and waiting for you to say something.

  6. Tara says:

    You have gained the respect of a lot of people by these words… Well said Gareth…true story…..

  7. vuyi says:

    you are one person I always agree with in everything you say.

  8. Liliosa says:

    Brilliantly written, love the fact that you did not say he’s guilty or innocent but you just said your two cents, remained objective and did not make uneducated assumptions like what the barrage of people on social are doing, nobody knows what happened on that fateful night except Oscar and Reeva (who sadly isn’t here to narrate her side of the story). It is nice to know what your take is on the whole ordeal as I am a fan of yours infact my whole family is, we all think you are hilarious. Anyway thank you for this read.

  9. mathew steven says:

    Well said Gareth

  10. Yolani says:

    well said. My question links to your last paragraph. Why did these women stay with him if they were so terrified of him? I know the psychology behind it, but in this day and age women need to wise up. If a man is scaring you run.

    Not blaming the victim but curious, if Reeva was indeed scared of Oscar, why did she continue seeing him, and why did she stay over?

  11. Samantha Hudek says:

    Well said…. and the very sad part about this all, by his demeanor in court, he believes he’s going to get away with murder!!! No true remorse shown!!! I would also be vomiting after loosing millions of dollars and how to god will I survive!

  12. wzo says:

    Wow… Impressed, I was never a Gareth fan but this blog changed it, I really thought u where a prick and made jokes of everything, u just proved me wrong. I have grown lost of respect for you now. Whether Oscar is guilty or not…. A life was taken and a family was ripped apart… Gareth you just sliced that down the middle whether u famous or rich he did take her life and that was wrong, #garethforpresident

  13. wilmarie visser says:

    That is so true. I wasn’t therE but I also got a crazy jealousnous inside of me. Its a demon and there is no cure…I think she might have gotten innocent messages on valentines day that infuriated him to the point of no return. She might have gone to the toilet to read it or reply to it. As far as I could hear the door was locked. Why would she have locked the door? Either to hide something or to protect herself from him. Which might have infuriated him more. They say she ate at 1. That might have been true. Some people get up at night to eat. (He might not have known). And with that friend of his… Who needs enemies. Obviously I’m on Rheevas side, but just cause I don’t like men like oscar (u know the windgat tipe) does not mean that he is guilty. I don’t like the fact that he does not have enough guilt for taking a life to not for instance start a relationship so soon after. Well written, thank you for admitting to sometimes being human, cause that’s what it is. Not many people can stay grounded if people put them on pedastals all their lives.

  14. Robyn says:

    One of the things that keeps ticking over is this: if I go to the loo in the middle of the night I don’t take me phone with me and I don’t close the door, I certainly don’t lock the door. It’s a clear sign she was under duress!

  15. M E Brink says:

    This is such a well written article. But of course you can relate being a celebrity yourself, but one false move can change a life for ever, and that applies to all of us..I always think (and I ain’t a celebrity!) that “there but for the grace of God ….. We all have our moments of madness….

  16. Donna says:

    Powerful words… Probably very accurate.
    My gut .. My share… My opinion
    Having experienced a time in rehabilitation… The emotions one is encompassed with are intense , inconsistence and erratic.
    It’s hard to define moments when the demonic parts of ones spirit are controlled by both fear and ego simultaneously.
    Living in the frame of ‘disability ‘ one needs to build strength with a huge ego. Wether he has / is or it’s ever been considered that he lives the status of unresolved, permanent ‘post traumatic anxiety’ in his trained head of self resilience is unknown. His composure and eyes void of emotion leaves a tiny question looming…
    Something provoked shutdown , out of control, with no foresight into the consequences that led to that moment of blackout.

  17. Paulien says:

    I was involved with a psychopath for only six months. I did get intuitive warnings but chose to ignore them. Those six months cost me six years of running and lots of compromises I would not ordinarily considered. But I am grateful I survived. So I find myself obsessing a bit over this case because she was a victim at the hands of someone she was trying to love.

  18. Liz Symcox says:

    Excellent article ! I also really enjoy your morning show which I listen to at work every day. Well done and thank you.

  19. Madge says:

    I am alarmed by the number of people who have strong opinions on Oscar’s innocence. Hello! – no one knows for sure other than Oscar and Reeva.

    This situation is heartbreaking; the lives of two young and talented people destroyed forever. I vacillate day to day on whether the shooting was intentional or not. My heart says not, but my head isn’t as sure.

    I’m not downplaying the enormity of the situation – that cannot be denied. But what frustrates me are the quick judgments and pious statements about the broader and inconsequential aspects of the couples lives.

    Can we remind ourselves that we are ALL fallible – we all have irrational outbursts at times or make embarrassing gaffes. That’s life. The difference is OUR indiscretions/mistakes are not being viewed under a microscope, picked to pieces, questioned and criticized by a bunch of absolute strangers. (And to be clear – I’m NOT referring to the actual shooting).

    Until we are presented with the full facts of that night, can we not be respectful and hold back on the hurtful gossip?

  20. Mandy says:

    Gareth for president!!!!

  21. Sabine Bosman says:

    Hi Gareth
    Thanks for your very observant and wise “judgement” on rich and famous people! Speaking from experience – yes, they think they are untouchable. I sincerely hope that my daughters will stay far away from egotistical, aggressive and self-centered people like OP. I can’t put into words how sad I feel about Reva’s incredibly vicious murder and her mourning family.

    On a more happy note: thanks to you and your amazing team for entertaining our family since school-going days ( which are now over due to finishing school). We laughed our heads off…and enjoyed the music!!
    Still listening on live stream! Thanks again!!

  22. Rob says:

    Gareth, it is really annoying that you always try so damn hard to come across as an intelligent individual, you are not. just stick to being a DJ and stop annoying us. From what you have written it is so evident that you have always been bitter that Oscar never seemed interested in knowing you or exchanging numbers as you have clearly stated. Guilty or not it is the court’s role to determine that. RIP REEVA

  23. Victoria says:

    My feelings about this case has always been if it wasn’t Reeva,then it would have been someone else.Oscar’s first instinct was to shoot totally disregarding the consequences of that action.Your blog certainly gave terminology to my thoughts;”Narcissism”

  24. Barbara Kinsky says:

    Gareth, well said my man. Although one cannot help but feel he is guilty by certain evidence that has come to light. I feel deeply for Reeva’s family as they have to suffer the loss of a beautiful daughter and my heart goes out to them.

  25. Linda says:

    Brilliant observations as always

  26. Catherine says:

    Well written Gareth….. I feel for both families. Very very sad.

  27. Tanya says:

    Extremely well written Gareth! Makes one think.

  28. Immelde says:

    None of us will ever know the truth to this terribly sad tragedy but God does and whether he gets away with it in this sick world or not, he will be dealt with accordingly now and for eternally when he leaves this world, it will be much worse than the justice this world could ever serve anyone.

    We would all like justice in this for loss of precious Reeva, but we must also let her rest in peace and pray for her family to be at peace with the loss of their beautiful daughter, let us not let the curiosity have the better of us in this, but put it in God’s hands to deal with the horror.

    My thoughts and prayers are with her friends and family’s loss.

  29. stan says:

    A well written article. However many of the comments are are very good and are really worth reading

  30. Hugo says:

    Let’s let the law takes its course, but I’m not being judgemental, what #OscarTrial did to his girlfriend, the person he said he loves, is despicable. How can u have an intruder in that type of a complax. Are those security personnel that works in that place useless enough to even have a gun by yo side of yo bed??? Really!!! #Oscar needs help, mentally! I feel for the Steenkamp family whom have to go on life without their beautiful daughter who was starting to shine like a diamond!

  31. Jen says:

    Wise words!
    I just wish those murdererd on their farms would have the luxury of a murder trial. So many murderers out there running free. With identities unknown, lurking in the shadows.

  32. Jasmin says:

    Well written Gareth. I always enjoy hearing your views. I am such a big fan of yours. I have learnt and continue to learn a great deal from you. I find you very inspirational and motivational.Love your show.

  33. Andrea says:

    I STILL SAY.>>>If it was the other way around and she shot him, u all would say… shame, she’s a woman , scared for her life and just shot out to protect herself…!! Give him the benefit of the doubt too.. Only God Himself, Oscar and Reeva, will know the real truth! RIP Reeva..

  34. Realist says:

    I think Gareth referred to the word “innocent” like that … Because this isn’t a “who did it” case. We know Oscar killed Reeva,…so he’s not innocent…..The question is…. : did he know that that was Reeva in the bathroom or not.

    We think we know the answer thothe one side of me really feels sorry for the guy because,of a moment of weakness. But he needs to pay the consequences. It’s how life works. Her life was taken. Her family ruined. They can’t come back from this ever…

    All I’m saying “if” he knew it was Reeava in the bathroom….. Take your punishment like a man! Don’t lie about it and put the witnesses on trial like that. And put the family through more agony.

    And if you didn’t know it was her…… You still killed some one buddy. We can’t all go out and just kill people. It has to be recognized as an action that doesn’t go without consequences.

    We need order in this world.

  35. Wiets says:

    Awesome comments Gareth. As you say, one is inclined to jump to conclusions. Unfortunately, a life was lost; that is Reeva’s. Guilty? Without a doubt! R.I.P Reeva!

  36. Jacques says:

    Really well said! This case has been put into so much limelight, due to it been a celebrity bases. Guilty or not, a crime was done. Let’s move on so the famillies can too.

  37. Mara says:

    I think you are a prick Gareth. nothing to do with your very ‘sincere and objective’ overview of the very irrelevant case going on , more to do with your acidic and objectionably cute ‘ afrikan’ accent you so like to emulate. Very uneducated and demeaning and really not funny at all.What other languages do you speak????You have huge impact on our youth ,you love it , use it to far better and constructive influence. Try it sometime, with humour. Mara

  38. Jenny Sharpe says:

    I enjoy reading your comments so much Gareth. Your narrative is smooth, thought provoking and unbiased. Very keen to read your book.

  39. Lindy says:

    Well said, thank you.
    I put it to you – in my opinion – dodgy company, gun happy, zero examples of taking responsibility for ones action. Sadly the poor police work will set him free. It’s a charade, all of it – from the hero to the retching zero. My condolences to Her family – RIP Reeva, gone too soon.

  40. Caro says:

    Well written and being within the realm of this society, well done in speaking ‘ out the box’. A life has been taken. Justice must be done. South Africans rich or poor must start respecting a persons LIFE- this should be the Main Point of Focus.

  41. Still Oscar Fan says:

    Ok. Some very valid points. I just think that this trial is getting out of hand. People seem to forget that the argument is NOT weather he did or did not shoot her. There were two people in the apartment…. obviously he shot her. The argument is if it was premeditated or not! I do believe it was NOT! Oscar is not a murder! I said it before and I will say it AGAIN: everyone can say “Yes I will react like this, in a given situation with no doubt” but I can promise you,you WILL probably react differently should you actually find yourself in that situation!!!!!!

  42. Lynn says:

    Well said, well written. Wish I could have met her!

  43. Charne says:

    Well commented Malcome!

  44. Kurt says:

    Close to home…Agreed…Kinda makes me reflect and identify similar traits in myself. In the medical field, we see this kind of behaviour all the time. Patients with disabilities or life threatening diseases need to feel “normal” because society has “labelled” them as something not normal? Yet, these traits can be seen in more than just celebraties…take any over achieving personality (for whatever reason) and couple it with an ego that is fuelled by people pleasing, and all of a sudden…boundries become blurred. “What will I do to be no1” or “How will people judge my actions?” This then often hides their “human” or true personality as they show people the side that they want the world to see. Therefore, their true nature only comes out behind closed doors with the people who are closest to them…not what media portrays. Whatever fuelled his desire to win, could easily have come from the same dark place that fuels his insecurities. I call it my passionate side…the only problem with passion is that it could be good or bad, and is usually more of an emotional response than a cognitive response. When passion takes control, reason has already flown out of the window. I dont know Oscar…but he strikes me as a passionate guy. Not saying that he is guilty or innocent, but he is still human…

  45. Sharon Moore says:

    Didn’t know you could be so objective, you are mainly very opinionated. Well written and interesting read

  46. Matshidiso Tsolo says:

    Well said. 🙂

  47. NasYC says:

    Very very well said……!!!!!,

  48. jacquelene law says:

    Oh Gareth….what drivel. You do BAD things on any given night out, you’re lucky you just haven’t been caught yet! Your words don’t impress me, you’re just jumping on the band wagon like everyone else. Your alleged “friendship” with her is so vague. You didn’t know her at all.

  49. Richard says:

    Well worded Gareth – I think you put into words what thinking people feel. It makes one think how deeply Mr Obama thought through the gun issue and how he must feel with it being blocked. If there were no guns none of these terrible events would have occurred with the exception of his boat accident. Going to a busy restaurant with a weapon with a round in the chamber says it all – Pistorius and his mates…..

  50. Ruuby says:

    Pple stop saying “innocent” until proven guilty.
    Someone is dead. Everyone knows who pulled the trigger. “GUILTY until proven innocent”

  51. Bselby says:

    The facts are – he is a trained marksman and knows how to handle a gun… So the firing of the gun was a conscious decision. Why he didn’t press the panic button before opening fire we will never know.. Why his first call wasn’t to the paramedics – he only knows.
    If you fire a gun and it kills then you need to held to account. Isn’t the SA law that you can not shoot and kill an intruder unless the said intruder is armed?

    Mistake or no mistake – he knew what he was doing shooting to kill the person behind the door completely unaware if that person was armed.. judge them for their actions not for what they represent!

  52. Heather says:

    Well said, very interesting view. For all above who feel they just have to get personal and attack Gareth, remember “if you cant say something nice, then rather say nothing at all!”

  53. Irvin says:

    not sure why the comment was made in the first place ……??????? we all can afford 2 cents but is it worth it!!!

  54. Geesh Gareth you on point. What makes a person do what they do. The drive of getting what you want will make one think that they are a god. I am no judge to sentence a man who claims innocence for a loss of a life. weather in or out of jail he knows the truth and that’s what he will live with for the rest of his God given life. there’s a saying “every dog gets his day BUT a bull dog gets a LONG WEEKEND”

  55. Debbie says:

    Gareth you say you do not claim to know whether Oscar is guilty or ‘innocent’, and you have tried to lead people down the path in your article that you are presenting a balanced view of the situation. In your closing statement actually you do judge Oscar, and so really your whole point was to bring people to the conclusion that really you are the nice guy and Oscar is not and Reeva got a bum deal. Because you really don’t know anything about either Reeva or Oscar maybe you should have just kept quiet about the whole matter. Only those close to the situation can really bring a truthful account to what happened!

  56. KingDez says:

    hard to read anything unbiased from subscribers to a website. i think you full of shit

  57. Very well said Gareth! I totally agree with your comments! So sad that people become judge and Judicator all at once! Maybe we should put ourselves in Oscars shoes and think what we would have done! It has been said that he was quite a scared person and fear drives a person to do strange things! People shouldn’t point a finger before they’ve pointed it at themself and can say I’m perfect! Yes, sad that a life was taken but he’s lost most of his too! I just say let the Law run its course! The truth will come out somehow! Love your show! Thank you for this insight into things! RIP Reeva and God bless! X

  58. cheena maake says:

    I don’t understand how people can say the truth will eventually come to light!is it not the truth that Reeva’s parents burried their daughter?is it not the truth that the same man standing trial is the one who shot and killed her?what truth are we seeking here?I put it to you that I am dumbstruck by all the hype sorrounding this case.it reminds me of a shower case we once wasted time watching it on tv and this will in turn have the same verdict.If he was not famous we wouldn’t even have heard a whole week of it 🙁

  59. Les Diiva says:

    I honestly don’t get how people are sympathizing with Oscar? Its not like he didn’t have the money to go see a psychologist if he had mental issues. A life was lost, he took that life…he should suffer the consequences!!! And to the ppl (especially women) who ask why the ex-girlfriends stayed? …same reason most women in abusive relationships stay..L♥√ع, security, money, kids…etc etc, it had to be one of those…or they were too scared to leave. Let’s not act holier than thou on that one asseblief. This trial is really wasting taxpayers money, and I wish the same attention was given to normal everyday murders and rapes in this country!! @Gareth, this was the best piece I’ve seen about this trial, unbiased and quiet frankly unike you. Keep it up… Very admirable.

  60. Rudi says:

    He claims he shot the wrong person. The fact is he discharged a firearm at something without knowing who or what it was. As far as I know that is illegal. Just for that he should fry. It is the minority like Pistorius who gives gun ownership a bad name. Having a pistol or rifle in your hand gives you a lot of confidence. In the wrong hands that becomes dangerous and deadly, especially in the hands of a man with a brittle ego…

  61. Michael says:

    I read the comments with interest. It is clear that many have already made up their minds that Oscar should rot in jail – judgement without facts – like the Woman’s League baying for his blood at the start of the trial. Let’s face it, nobody ever stays subjective when it comes to sensationalist trials. The OJ Simpson trial was the same. Two families are heartbroken, and let’s face it, even if Oscar is/was trigger-happy, I cannot for any sane reason see why he would have premeditated kill her in a rage, in his own home, on Valentine’s Day. He has been overcome with grief from that fateful day, for all the world to see, yet many purport to think that this is an Oscar-winning Hollywood act? He had the world at his feet and seemingly her too. If she was scared of him, why would she spend one more minute, let alone share his bed with him? Some of us believe in the intrinsic good of all persons. Can we wait for all the facts to be presented before judging? A second life is at stake here…

  62. Zanele says:

    Well said G. May her soul rest in peace.

  63. Mike says:

    We are all missing the point that Oscar deliberately fired into the toilet with the deliberate intent of killing someone. That someone was Reeva Steenkamp, but may have been an intruder so he had murder in his mind one way or the other. Assuming he is “innocent” he could have covered the door and called out for Reeva to phone the police. Then he would have heard her call from inside the toilet. Would he be charged with murder if it was an intruder? My personal views are withheld as it is not right for me to pre-judge the situation, but it does make one think.

  64. Zanele says:

    Dear Gareth, Please send this to the judge.She really neeeds this. 🙂

  65. Adrian Moorgas says:

    Not really a Gareth Cliff follower…but this piece is insightful and sincere. Maybe there is still hope.

  66. Jacques says:

    Very interesting, insightful and a pleasure to read. Thank you!

  67. Kelly Szabo says:

    As a family we knew Oscar well when he was still at school without his blade runner prostheses. At that point in his life there was a young man battling to come to terms with what life had handed out to him. His mothers untimely death. Artificial legs that were, at times, tied on with wire coat hangers !!!! A poor relationship with his family and the desire to ‘ fit in ‘ Never ONCE did we encounter aggressive behaviour in any shape or form despite him spending many many weekends at our home. Just the opposite in fact. All Oscar ever wanted was what many of us take for granted. A family home, people that cared and to be ‘ normal ‘ I am not in any shape or form belittling what has happened its tragic for everybody concerned, Oscar included !! So many lives destroyed not just Oscar and Reevas but their families too. What I am asking is that people stop making assumptions based on media coverage to date, you weren’t there, neither was I but the adage innocent until proven guilty still stands. The media should cover some of the background too Oscar wasn’t always rich and famous he was a sad and lonely child !!!!

  68. Sandy says:

    Well done Gareth, I liked the man [never met him] until he had a ‘fit’ when he was beaten in the games!! then I lost all respect for the man – he is too aggressive for my liking.

  69. aurin says:

    You don’t claim this or that, but you do. Stick to being a DJ. If only people would spend this much time thinking about the problems the world really has.

  70. Stuart says:

    This is complete waffle. What are you saying? It sounds like you want to attach yourself to the public attention around this case.

  71. Jenni Foxley says:

    Thanks for sharing. Brilliantly written.

  72. Mandy says:

    Opinions are for free, so here goes mine. its a no brainer Oscar shot Reeva. There has to be consequences for taking a life. I think it was a fit of rage and now Oscar is riding the bad crime stats in SA. If he has already proven to try shift the blame with discharging a fire arm in a restaurant, its a pretty good indication he will try shift the blame of murder aswell.

  73. brandon says:

    What a stream of unqualified, disjointed pish.

  74. Tim says:

    I don’t listen to your show, as I don’t listen to radio or watch tv. I liked your book though. I haven’t really been following this trial much. So many people get killed. What makes one life worth more than another? Louis van Schoor, a security guard living in East London, shot 39 people dead, most of them in the back while they were fleeing after aborted attempts at petty crime. He (eventually) went to jail for life. Oscar shot someone locked behind a closed door. He should serve time for that at least. There’s too many lunatics with guns running around here. And we can add the police to that list too. Although they were always on that list weren’t they?

  75. Vanessa Stevenson says:

    Insightful musings… Pretty much the record that keeps going around in my head… Just a tragic situation. I hope the right conclusion is reached…

  76. Anushka Manjeet says:

    The documentary about Reeva paints her as a sweet human being, it does also reveal how desperately she wanted fame and fortune. It’s been said she was a very calculating person in her behaviour. It speaks sadly to how she lost objectivity in deciding to be in a relationship with the kind of the accused, as you clearly mentioned it. You’re right, celebrities with fame and fortune like the accused get away with a lot and they also get to be with wonderful women whom if it weren’t for their public status, would never qualify to date. Which beautiful female would date a guy with no legs if it wasn’t for his fame and fortune. You’re right, the accused is psychotic. So you admit to being rich and famous and sometimes using your status to do silly things, just make sure you never lose perspective because you could lose it all in a blink of an eye, watch the OP trial and remind yourself daily how fast it can all change.

  77. Mariaan Hubner says:

    Well written! Sounds like biography – that’s maybe I am really waiting for the trial to end and for the judge to speak! So many wholes in the states evidency – you go to a toilet with 2 phones??? Why? Phone someone if you feel your life is in danger …….

    Maybe she used Oscar as a stepping stone???

    Lets not speculate

    If it was my son – I would have supported
    If it was my daughter – I would have hung him

    I am a mother with a son of similar age and a daughter

    Tooooo young with tooooooo much money both O and R

    Lets not be prejudgemental ………..

  78. Carol Kahn says:

    Gareth your well written article above (journalistic talents?) helped me understand so much more – you make many points objectively, with no assumptions but you put them across as “food for thought” and I’m hoping all involved with this case will take these all into account during the case as well as remembering these were real human beings & a beautiful life was so unnecessary lost!! Focusing too much on the Facts can make you forget this!!! Fame & riches make you change – drastically in some cases – it’s been seen with so many well known people in whatever sphere it may be – they become obnoxious & such divas, unless you “tow the line” to please them, you’re little less than dirt!! An yet many will still hang to be known as his/her friend!! Thank you Gareth.

  79. Wendy Grant says:

    Thank you, Madge and Malcolm. Gareth, don’t forget that the vast majority of us out here have our opinions of you and other celebrities shaped by the media. There isn’t too much actual evidence (by that I mean what has been presented in court) that supports the media’s contention that Oscar is violent, besides the fact that he owns guns (like so many others in this country). There is no doubt that Reeva was a beautiful young woman who should not have died in this terrible way. Oscar is guilty of taking her life. Did he do it intentionally? Wait for all the evidence to be presented before making up your mind. Your article reveals as much bias as every other one I have read. When I began reading it, I was hopeful that it would be different. By the end, I was disappointed.

  80. Sharon-Rose says:

    Gareth, I am not a fan of yours but this article has changed my opinion of you somewhat. You usually take a side and rip the opposition to pieces but amazingly enough you have managed to stay objective in this instance.

  81. Hanlie says:

    Well said. My heart bleeds for Reeva and her family. Oscar’s family must also go thru a difficult time. All this is so sad.

  82. Thea says:

    Could not have been put in better words

  83. Celeste says:

    I couldn’t agree more- well written

  84. Joe-Anne says:

    Most accurate in my opinion.

  85. Tia says:

    Having been in a relationship with a very similar personality, I can understand he lost it and is very sorry now. These types (call them what you like) are insecure, afraid and always feel they need to prove something to the world. And NOBODY makes them feel even more insecure or questions their actions, integrity etc etc. The thing is, he really is sorry now I believe, he probably was the second after he realised what he had actually done. My opinion entirely, of course.

  86. Jean says:

    Somewhere along the line Reeva has been lost in this hype of publicity surrounding Oscar. Very sad I think.

  87. Kenny Siyo says:

    @Gareth, You hit the nail on its head on this one! The signs were there!!

  88. sherise says:

    Oscar is still a boy. He never grew up. Nobody ever tought him not to play with guns. Shame

  89. karen says:

    Very well said.

  90. Andre says:

    “She was a friend of one of my ex-girlfriends.” Sounds like there’s a string of ex-girlfriends in your life. That winnie of yours has been busy much. Can’t say I envy you, not in these dangerous times my man, even you can catch hiv/aids and you’re getting old to be sleeping around, 40 is around the corner. Soon you won’t be so attractive to women but will have “casanova with pussy addiction” written in your forehead and pussies will sure run. All you celebrities are arseholes, I don’t know how these sweet girls don’t see through you and then look, they end up dead.

  91. Smita Patak says:

    I remember hearing you on the radio the Monday after the shooting. You said not to be 2 quick 2 judge Oscar. You also said that you saw Reeva in a magazine cover and that she looked good. Y did you not mention that you knew Reeva personally? Its baffling! Anyways perhaps she rejected you at 1’ve ur parties….hahaha kidding! I still do not believe that there was any intent to kill Reeva. Being reckless, aggressive, kind of a maniac still doesn’t conclude that he would actually murder someone he had been dating for like 3 months. I know plenty of them maniacs who are not capable of murder. Just sayin!

  92. prue says:

    I will stand by my thoughts .it was a dreadful accident. .. I’m not rich nor famous, but most of you celebs, have such holier than though attitudes. ..you gareth won’t even sign autographs. At least Oscar is filled with remorse, .. As tragic as it is to all..accidents happen. …I do believe he should get rid of all his guns… but very sad for both family’s ..Oscar has lost everything anyway…let the judge decide.. my father used to say..If you dont have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all…….I rest my case….I pray for Oscar. ..

  93. Sharnelle says:

    Well Written Gareth… Much Respect!

  94. reflections says:

    Your article reminds me of the samsung TV advert that uses paraplegics and the punchline that they ‘don’t like losing’. Don’t know you at all Gareth but I have seen your face before. To me it seems this tragedy happened because each of these dear young people have been failed by their close family and friend circles. Also society as a whole have failed them, by not holding each acccountable to their choices in life.

  95. Marilyn Harris says:

    Gareth,
    How I wish I had written that. Responsible, real – you always tell it like it is.
    Thank you.

  96. Tamlyn says:

    I wish this “Saga” would just hurry up and go away now! The Judge, well….she doesn’t say much, does she? We are talking about someone’s life which was taken away from her, so violently! Whether it premeditated, or not! Pistorius shot to kill, not to “maim”, an “intruder”. By law he should be punished, regardless! 25 years! minimum! Unfortunately in Africa, people get away with murder! We don’t have a jury, we just have judges & advocates who get paid a lot of money, to defend innocent, and GUILTY people. Just saying.

  97. melissa says:

    Brilliantly written Gareth-you have made me realize i share those feelings, i just couldn’t put it into words. I find myself shifting between guilty and not guilty which is ridiculous because what do i know. At the end of the day, his behavior is appalling and a life was lost. And for that i think he does deserve to be punished. Whether it was premeditated or not…Barry Roux is a fantastic lawyer….so we may never know.

  98. Rina says:

    my my my, says he that is without sin. Just a pity that you Gareth doesn’t give a voice to all other acts of violence irrespective of their financial ability.

  99. Mandy says:

    The trial is about how the various facts can be blurred by lawyers and attorneys, in order to establish doubt and get him off. Not about the simple fact that one human being killed another, which is tragic, but no more tragic than the fact that he will probably walk on a technicality, basically getting away with it. Shades of OJ Simpson????

  100. janett says:

    Yep…after all said and done Reeva should have known better to be part of all that…

  101. Bridget says:

    There are always 3 sides to a story….yours, mine and the truth! Unfortunately, there are only two now as the third is no longer with us to tell her side!! Tragic, is all I can say! RIP Reeva!!!

  102. Josh says:

    Gareth, I just have one thing to say to you and that you are a dick, seriously. you always do stuff like this. You say “i am by no means an expert..” etc. but you in your own eyes are god. you think you know everything and I like how you try and analyze Oscar as if you are some kind of a psyc. You yourself are only fame hungry if your fame disappeared today what will you have to show for yourself? expect your egotistical attitude of how you are better than everyone else. I really don’t care much to argue with what you wrote but I do care to tell you to just shut your mouth and stop running it on everything and everyone. Come back down to earth and just be a normal person for a change. you are not god and you certainly are not someone I would ever look up to, nor should anyone else, besides you can just talk shit on a radio show and press play….. not really such an achievement now is that?

  103. Ohh Gareth you have never been one of my favourite celebrities but you have the ability to write so well and yes it is a very tragic story and I just pray that the real story will come out for Reeva’s family. The story that he tells just does not sound like the truth & the thing that gets me is why was the bathroom door locked? My tears will be for Reeva and her family I hope Oscar is learning his lesson with guns as this is a truly hard lesson to have to learn. I pray for all that it does not take too long 🙁 🙁 🙁

    Keep on writing such brilliant blogs Gareth 😉

  104. Bev Cornwell says:

    This is such a well written piece, thoroughly enjoyed reading it and certainly made me think… It is a tragic thing isn’t it, for both Oscar and Reeva & the families of these two people. My only concern is that regardless of whether it was an accident or not, people need to be held responsible for their actions. I love that poster that states, “Society has gotten to the point where everybody has a right but nobody has a responsibility.”

  105. Desmond says:

    A sad case of plausible deniability from your part Gareth. You can later deny ever hinting that he was guilty if he gets off the hook. You did say precarious afterall. That occasional big word to fool us into thinking that you actually do think.
    Precarious my ass!

  106. Terence says:

    Why sit on the fence on this one? You are cut from the same cloth as Oscar. Privileged with an air of self entitlement.

  107. PHILLY says:

    LOVE YOU & YOUR BLOGS I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO READING YOUR BLOGS

  108. Bev says:

    Beautifully written Gareth!

  109. Maggie says:

    We are all entitled to our own opinions. Post traumatic stress disorder can strike at any time. When it does it can trigger any emotions, controlled or not.
    Doesn’t matter who or where you are and who you are with at the time, it can be devastating. There is but one Judge, whether guilty or not there will be Justice – one day.
    Thank you for always sharing.

  110. Gert van de Kerk says:

    Who lied 2 u & told u u’re famous? U’re not. U just a DJ. U’re rich? Who said? How many cars do u have? How many properties do u have? How many businesses do u have? Last time I checked u’re just an employee whose contract could end anytime every new year when your station announces slots for DJs. U’re ugly, pale, overly bleached hair, wear 2 much gel, have bad skin and bad teeth & u’re rude and mean 2 ur fans & ur bisexual and obsessed about sex, vagina’s and boobs. Any of the girlfriends u’ve had only used u as a stepping stone to enhance their own careers & 2 tap into ur network of celebrities. Ur insecure & probably have a small dick which is y u can never stick 2 1 woman or man. U r probably as psychotic as Oscar not 2 mention abusive. U may not beat woman around or chase them out of our house ( coz maybe they have never spoken out) but I bet ur emotionally and psychologically abusive. U sound the type on radio with how u handle ur colleagues and how u deal with callers. U doos. The bottom line is u fart, shit, stink up a toilet and u have morning breath, when those girls realise that, that’s y they leave u or that’s y it never works out. They get tired of pretending 2 luv u.

  111. Pencil Pixy says:

    I guess there is more to the story than meets the eye. The day he get a chance to take a stand will come. Then we hope all shall be revealed.

  112. Bianca Curry says:

    Gareth… you couldn’t have put it more eloquently!!!!!!

    Totally agree with all you have written…. and as a previous person said:

    ”He chose to fire his firearm at who believed was a person, which resulted in a death…. Premeditated or not, mentally sane or not, he should deal with the consequences of his actions…I do hope there are some!!!
    Comment by Jenni — March 16, 2014 @ 7:06 pm ”

    He has made bad and irresponsible decisions over and over again, and now has gone to far (by mistake or on purpose) and taken someone’s life. There has to be a consequence… He has to go to jail.. as would anyone of us non celebs…

    Consequences are part of life, if we let him get away with no consequence of this terrible action/situation.. he will NEVER learn!! And it will set a precedent for other celebs or normal run of the mill people, that enough money and fame, you can literally get away with anything..

    Thats not ok.

  113. Nikki Lloyd-Roberts says:

    Not only are you a brilliant dj,fabulous idols judge etc, but you write with conviction and have a wonderful command of the English language. Very impressed….you are a man of many talents!

  114. Hayley says:

    I’m a huge fan of yours Gareth.. always have been. Your article is insightful and very well written… There are always three sides to a story.. in this case Oscar’s, Reeva’s and the Truth.. unfortunately I think we will only get to hear one of them.

  115. Sparado says:

    Let justice be done,even though the heavens might fall…

  116. Alison says:

    Yet another armchair expert. Most human beings have facets of these qualities Gareth, such wide-sweeping generalisations made on particular groupings of people? This holds no merit. Part of me hopes that Oscar is guilty, for the nightmare this must be for an innocent man is beyond comprehension,…However my gut tells me that this was not pre-meditated murder.

  117. Bretta says:

    Very interesting read & very well written

  118. Jack says:

    I have to ask the question?? I get up to go fetch the fan from outside, I close the sliding door and hear a noise in the bathroom? I don’t fetch my gun, I go get back into bed because while I was up my girlfriend went to the toilet (I would assume)Then I feel she is still in bed and that’s when I am scared? as now I know there is someone in my house. Now I ask the question if he had a child would he have shot without making sure where his kid was. Well written Lad.

  119. Emma says:

    I’ve never in my life ever heard or read an article of someone writing about how famous and rich they are, going as far as relating their lifestyle to that of a murderer’s. Are you crazy?

  120. Kobus says:

    Close to home? What? You’re rich, famous, have guns, pull triggers in restaurants and through sun-roofs, scream like a woman, are abusive, fuck around with models, break their hearts, throw your celebrity weight around to get what you want? Well, we’ll see you in court soon then. Would be fun to hear your ex-girlfriends testifying about your dirty sexual romps and how you love to film yourself having sex. I bet you do.

  121. Hloni says:

    A lot of what has come out puts huge holes in his story. I don’t know what happened that night but based on what has been revealed so far, I’m leaning towards the state’s case. Either way a life was lost his still here breathing and he should pay for it somehow.

  122. Cisca says:

    Had there been an unarmed intruder in that bathroom, this would probably have been forgotten by now. He shot to kill. No one wins here. It’s tragic.

  123. Janene says:

    I simply choose not to judge, but too remember that both Reeva and Oscar are someone’s daughter/son or bother/sister and someone’s child.
    It’s is human nature to fight to survive and this is the space Oscar finds himself in.
    As each minute passes and he gets closer to the final Court judgement, he will finally understand the fear Reeva must have felt and as he faces the outcome of his future he will see again the future that he intentionally / or unintentionally took away from her.
    I don’t believe the the Question of guilt is a question at all – he is guilty. There were 2 people in the house – Reeva is dead – He killed her – that makes him guilty.
    The courts are simply trying to ascertain the motive and depth of guilt and if the shooting was accidental or deliberate.

  124. Lorraine Goodman says:

    Gareth, do you have such a high opinion of yourself that you thought the whole of South Africa was waiting to hear your comments. Honestly that is the pot calling the kettle black. You state you are just adding your thoughts but you have basically convicted Oscar, and what is worse is that you are accountable for everything that comes out of your mouth and how many people you influence by your so called “intellegence” (wonder which pr wrote the piece for you). You are a DJ, not a judge, you have not studied law or phycology yet you make these statements. I wonder what your fans would think if they actually got to hear all the stuff you have got up to, BUT your ego wont allow you to be judged, rather “better to judge than be judge. Innocent untill proven guilty. What if it was you, would you not want a fair trial without big mouths infulencing the publics thoughts. I do not know if Oscar is guilty but the courts will establish that, BUT what “if” he isnt guilty. Yesterday he was everybodies darling and now!, if he is guilty he will pay for his actions.Be careful Gareth, arrogance is the down fall of man.

  125. Sadie says:

    Amazing how every one zone’s in on all the bad about Oscar and refuses to speak of the good. I do not condone what has happened in anyway but in your own words “Like any other moron, at times I’m prone to jumping to the finish line and proclaiming him guilty ….” You just edged those morons to jump without letting justice take its course. A lot of people look up to you and value your opinion. Mostly he is judged by what people are saying, what they heard from from a second hand source like yourself. If the truth be know, would I have shot through a closed door living in South Africa with the crime rate we are experiencing, bloody right I would have. Am I a cold bloody, heartless killer for saying this, no I am not, I most certainly do not want to become another number on the statistic list. How many defenseless elderly people have been murdered, how many brutal farm attacks have there been, how many hijackings, how many women have been raped and how many people have lost precious possession that they have worked hard for all their lives, just to be taken away??? How many of these crimes have been resolved satisfactorily????? I do not normally comment on these blogs but I am just so tired of everyone out there that seem to thrive on other peoples misery and hide their own faults and short comings by being arrogant,obnoxtious, judgemental and ever so quick to shout their mouths off without knowing the truth. NOBODY knows the truth except Oscar and Reeva. So can we all try and treat Oscar the way we would have liked people to treat us had we found ourselves in the same situation. NEVER SAY NEVER …..!!!

  126. Gareth your blog gives me the creeps! You try to come over as all neutral but in fact I experienced it as quite insidious In it’s judgmentalism and then the way that you end off your article was incredibly manipulative!
    It has nothing to do with what I believe or not but I think you certainly roused people’s passions!
    Maybe you were feeling left out.
    Just saying!

  127. Wow, this is a well written piece. I have one question though, do you read all this comments? #JusCheckin

  128. Bev Clement says:

    Very well stated Gareth !

  129. Thobekani says:

    Very carefully constructed, this goes from carefully building him up by being sympathetic to his holistic state, historically, experientially, emotionally, physically, psychologically and so on, to actually killing him softly by beating him down on the reasons why he never attended to his insecurities, the last line is a out rightly massacring the poor guy. You git skills bro.

  130. siya says:

    Whites still enjoy lives of ease.Whites can afford the best health care and still stay in the best areas and still exploit black people as domestic workers.Just look at the Pistorius trial.An issue,I
    find disconcerting is that many
    accused persons from a previously
    disadvantaged background charged
    with murder have to be content with
    having an incompetent attorney
    assigned to them because they can’t
    afford someone nearly as competent
    as Pistoriu’s advocate.If the
    trials of previously disadvantaged
    individuals had to be televised,the
    public would be disgusted
    by the incompetence of their legal
    representatives.It appears the
    effects evil policy of Apartheid are
    still with us.
    Only a redistribution of wealth will
    ensure the majority enjoys the
    fruits of freedom.

  131. Craig says:

    The whole thing is so sad and such a tragedy that things like this happen in our society.

  132. Vix24 says:

    Beautifully written. As much as we all hope this televised circus will make the world think our justice system is fabulous, what will come out is the utter incompetence of our police force and the near total destruction of any physical forensic evidence whatsoever. I want to believe this was a tragic accident. Regardless, I don’t believe turning Reeva’s life into a publicised three ring circus is much of a fitting eulogy.

  133. Mbali says:

    Well written Gareth…… I stand by u even though not directly said. Celebrity or not he is Guilty…….

  134. Nelieta says:

    Well written Gareth! I feel sorry for Oscar. Yes, maybe he did it, maybe he didn`t. He is on trail now and will be judged not only by the court but by the whole world. He needs to live with his actions. The fact that he liked to live on the edge and random fire guns would have landed in him trouble at some point. Unfortunately a life is lost and a family mourns their daughter.

  135. Hairyback says:

    I’m just going to pull out my tinfoil hat here, but the most common cause of explosive anger is brain injury or neurological disease. In 2009 he had a boating accident that caused substantial damage to among other things his face and head.
    Before that incident he seemed to be a pretty chilled guy. After that there was a decided shift in his personality that led to some of the more controversial episodes like the spat with Quinton van der Burgh and Marc Batchelor and firing the gun in public.
    I just wonder if they ever had him examined by a neurologist, and if this whole thing could have been avoided with propanolol or some other medication???

  136. Maybe I’m missing the entire point of your entry here Gareth, but it is because this trial is just about all everyone is talking about and I’m honestly quite sick of it. Just yesterday I spoke to a friend of mine who said, “Last night I was flipping through the channels and I ended up glued to THE Trial, thinking ‘If I was Barry Roux, I’d say this, or ask that…and then I watch, waiting to SEE if MY train of thought is the same as his…You won’t believe how quickly two hours of my time vanished.” All I can think is “Seriously?! What drives us to this kind of morbid fascination?”

    Almost every one I have spoken to has an egg to lay about Oscar’s guilt or innocence, or how Reeva’s family must be dealing with their loss. I don’t mean to sound insensitive but not one of us knows what either family is going through. I don’t think anyone can comprehend it, simply because it goes against the unwritten Circle of Life. No matter what Higher Power you believe (or don’t believe) in, I don’t think it is His/Her/Its intention for any parent to bury their children. As someone said earlier, a three ring circus is not a fitting eulogy. Why is this specific trial getting such major coverage? I personally don’t think it is to set some kind of benchmark for future trials, but more for the television networks to up their ratings and increase their bottom line, because (child) rapists/murderers currently get to cover their heads during arrest and more often than not get off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. The only common denominator between such cases and this one, is that there is one family who, no matter what is decided by the courts, still has to go home to deal with the reality that their loved one is NEVER coming home.

    On another point, you say:

    “They’re also often rich, and feel the rules don’t apply to them. I know these things because in my less guarded moments, I have been guilty of just that kind of bad behaviour.” I met you recently – I didn’t feel like you thought you were better than me. Thank you for treating me with respect.

  137. Nic says:

    Gareth,

    You own a firearm, you are a gun enthusiast… Now you tell me one plain and simple thing.

    Whilst going through the process of obtaining, firstly a competency, and secondly a firearm licence, was it not drilled into you how important firearm safety and target identification is?

    Now my question I pose is, Oscar being a gun nut, should and would have known this.

    I cannot proclaim him innocent, or guilty, as you so rightfully say. However, he still shot someone and killed them.

    He shot someone through a closed door, where target identification is impossible…

    These sorts of people should come with warning labels…

  138. Anthony h says:

    Well said but l ask why the gun was dropped on the bathroom floor if he expected a burglar was there would he leave it or did he hear her scream if so why shoot more shots through the door ?

  139. Yvonne says:

    Very eloquent… Love it

  140. mondli says:

    Pathetic article!Stick to playing music

  141. CB says:

    I can appreciate a little more of the character sketch that Gareth has provided. He has had a chance meet with the two persons whom the case is about. What we know:
    .There was an argument
    .Possible texting on significant persons cell phones on
    Valentines Day by ex-lovers.
    .Reeva cried for help, but was not in bed next to Oscar
    when he reached for his gun and starts shooting towards
    her voice that cried out for help from the bathroom.
    .Neighbors heard cries for help from both
    .When Oscar cries for help, is it after he fires a shot
    into the bathroom at Reeva and then she knows he is
    shooting at her and she is then praying for her life
    because he can make it look like they are both being
    attacked and need help.
    .It is obvious if they have had an argument he was not
    in his place by himself.
    .Why not turn the lights on
    .If an intruder,why go into the bathroom and not
    immediately attack as an intruder is suppose to do.
    .Blood splatters behind the headboard,did he hit her a
    Cricket bat first?
    .Four shots were fired
    .Third World country, Women are second class citizens,
    and participate in Apartheid ,there is no vote due to
    no jury trials in SA.
    .Reeva’s Mom and Dad are of the lower class in Cape Town
    who depended on Reeva to make some of the bills.
    .Reeva is well liked within the community.
    .I would suspect Oscar might have inner rage problems
    possibly due to image. Reeva did not have a problem with
    that to begin with.
    .The couple, from what I know,knew each other only three
    months. Not long enough to know someone well and how
    they are going to react under stressful situations.
    .Defense is working on getting Oscar off on Police
    negligence on mis-handling the case to begin with.
    These are the facts that I am aware of. The case sickens me. I feel sorry for Reeva’s mom and Dad and the community and friends that liked and now miss Reeva.

  142. Tracey says:

    Have got a lot of comments on comments that were submitted here but due to current lack of time won’t go into it now but will say this NO-ONE is perfect. As much as OP “dirty laundry” is coming out so is RS going to come out.

  143. CB says:

    In the legal system try to stick to the facts,not emotions.

  144. CB says:

    Objectivity.Both sides. Money usually wins out.

  145. Marius says:

    Gareth

    Like anyone else you do make valid comments about Oscar and his actions before, but then again, because of you I dont listen to 5fm anymore because you are no better. Your sick jokes about this very situation was in very bad taste. Remember the one where Reeva is speaking from the dead………………? You should have a closer look at yourself before attacking another individual’s personality or actions. However, my view is very much the same about the life lost here as well as the potential problems of Oscar,

  146. Cecilia Wilson says:

    Regardless of outcome two families have been forever hurt and things will never be the same for either. That’s sad.

  147. Stephanie Davies says:

    Put all the negative comments above together …. that’s what I think about you, Gareth Cliff, and your opinion. I’d love to hear what would come out about you in the same circumstances. Possibly only one person in the world knows what really happened,and maybe even he doesn’t. We all react differently, sometimes even in similar circumstances, depending on our current state of mind and many other things. Nobody can get inside another person’s head, no matter how useful that might be. My heart goes out to all the people affected by this tragic event.

  148. sibongile says:

    Well said Gareth. However all too often we as women fail to see the danger signs. Oscar, to me, is a narcassist with psychophathic tendencies. He really believes that the “laws” that apply to us mortals dont apply to him because according to him hes too smart, hes too slick and he may do whatever it takes get out of a sticky situation even let his so-called friend take blame for his mistakes. I too wish Reeva wouldve seen this about him but its too late for wishes. Reeva was an angel and she wanted to see the best in him. I believe people like her die young because God is trying to gather all the good souls to stay close to him in heaven

  149. natasha says:

    Beautifully written and so well said…

  150. TC_MOkWeNa says:

    Well written Gareth , but we don’t realy know what happened that night and whose to say oscAr realy shoot the gun in the Car and if he did than those “friends” of him are not good citizens of the law and they just want to talk about the situation, from my personal site they were not good friend they are just predators who claim and act to be saints now and anyone who is in Oscars phisical situation without lying would shoot to kill when their lifes are in Danger or think so, we should not judge the unknown because of our own short comings would want us to point the finger , and in the first place why didn’t the ex-girlfriend leave Oscar and whose to say she was realy scared of him, and who knows that she was lying when she claims oscar was “violent” , and who does not have a temper, and who does not loose their cool when they are angry and we know its human preservation to diffent ur self in times of trouble, so we should all start to self introspect ourselves so that we should know who our friends are and anyone in our lifes who doesn’t motivate or encourage us in a positve way than we should delete them , but the truth is that no one realy knows the truth but the deceased, Oscar and GOD #TC

  151. Glynis Fobb says:

    Good piece Gareth – an obsession with guns always bothers me, afterall they are a weapon of death. A thought-provoking comment on this trial from my niece…
    “my inner cynic can’t help thinking about the nature of regret in these matters; which life lost is the object of regret, his past glory-days or Reeva’s actual life?”

  152. Sue says:

    Well said and your insight into the celebrity mindset, however small in this country, is very accurate. I was involved in Reeva’s ‘Face of Avon’ photoshoot and she was very reserved and polite, but by no means a ‘super model’ as the media describes her. Just the girl next door. What a horrible ending.

  153. Caron says:

    Gareth, well put together mate, lets hope and pray that there is true, real justice in the outcome of this trial. I read a lot of comment pitying Oscar, but what of poor Reeva and especially her next of kin!!!! Are celebrities above the law?? Bring back the death penalty!!! A life for a life!

  154. Lee says:

    I’ve truly enjoyed reading through some of these comments some amusing, some hilarious and some idiotic. Unfortunately couldnt read all of them but one of my favies is Siya. .. those incompetant attorneys you are referring to are here because you voted them in and you will keep voting them in. As for the redistribution of wealth you refer to to ensure the majority enjoys freedom, SERIOUSLY. I suggest you take that matter up with your leader and his comrades who are the only ones getting richer by the day and laughing and dancing while building up their own personal wealth. PS Goodluck with that attitude of yours.

  155. Jaco Meissenheimer says:

    Dear Garreth

    Let me put it to you this way, This trail will not see the end. Oscar will confess of what he did. Lets put it this way, If he is found not guilty, this will be a big loupe hole in our legal system, because if I wake up one morning and hear that someone is tampering with my front door, I can shoot him dead without even asking who is at the door. Now the sacrificed the gent from the restaurant about a magazine in the firearm. Firearm act state clearly that you must make a firearm safe before inspecting it. Part of this inspection is to see if the magazine is out. He could have killed someone that day.
    Then also.. how did he know that it was NOT Reeva in the bathroom before he pulled the trigger. he could have moved away from the danger. He could have fired a warning shot into the ground first to see if there was any response. He must take responsibility for his actions. We have to look at the reasonable person. What will the reasonable person do if someone is suspected to be in your house. You will wake up the person next to you, ask to call the police, press the panic button, and get your firearm ant protect your family. Not just get up, take your firearm and fire 4 shots through the door. I hope the judge see these points. Many thanks Garreth for your comment, Good one

  156. Cheryl says:

    I couldn’t have said it better. Just so sad….

  157. Bianca says:

    Such a well written blog post! Thanks for sharing. Oscar sure has had some nasty aspects of his personality brought to life. Everyone has skeletons but I have to say he seems to take things to the extreme. I think his actions and behavior, since the tragedy, leave him looking guilty. He hasn’t even tried to make contact with Reevas family, hell he wont even look her mother in the eye. You make a mistake you beg for forgiveness. Something just isn’t right with him and his story. I just hope in this circus, justice is served.

  158. Janine says:

    So to summarise; you didn’t really know Reeva, you didn’t really know Oscar but you feel you are entitled to comment on the nature of celebrity and prominent sport figures in particular respect to the trial of Oscar Pistorius.

  159. Cheeki says:

    Note to Barry Roux…write this down in your little black book. No matter how hard you work at destroying a very basic, uncomplicated case and the lives of innocent people OSCAR WILL SIT 15 YEARS…GUARANTEED…

  160. Carla Nel says:

    Very informative and well written.Thanks for sharing

  161. Sue says:

    Barry Roux is the new celeb after all of this…love him or hate him he is doing a FAB job…raising doubt after doubt with no matter what ANY witness says!

  162. Pierre says:

    I still think you are a chop for making fun of the whole situation. How would you like to be in the same shoes

  163. maria smith says:

    for once Gareth, I think you have put it in a nutshell.
    I didn’t know either of them – but I have sons and to see him sitting in the dock with his head in his hands – my heart goes out to him (and of course to Reeva’s mum and family). He looks so alone and must be the only person in the world right now, whose regrets are beyond belief.
    shame….

  164. Liesel says:

    on the lighter side of things, kinda cool that SA now have their own O.J. Simpson ***please no disrespect ment to a beautiful women’s life***

  165. sybil says:

    I am sure u want to be relevant gareth. Ur last paragraph is so careless and pathetic. Its seems as if u know what happened the night reeva died. U r pathetic

  166. sybil says:

    Gareth, u are an asshole. U think u r better than others. U are just a lonely stupid guy looking for attention. U seriously need some help

  167. Janine says:

    Well written!

    In my opinion – At the end of the day Oscar Pistorius killed Reeva Steenkamp,regardless of his God complex and mental issues, he killed her and he should get locked up for life because of it. He has a collection of firearms and some serious ammunition, he should suffer the consequences of using it irresponsibly! His intent was to kill whom ever was behind that door and he did just that. I’m not a lawyer but since when did the assumption of your life being threatened get classified as self defence? If that’s the case any person can get gun happy and just start killing away. It irritates me beyond belief that people are defending the fact that its okay to kill another human being just as long as you say it was an accident Personally there are just too many things that don’t add up for me and I firmly believe he killed her in cold blood. However I do believe he will get away with it which sickens me to my core.

  168. Casey says:

    To the moron who said Gareth is an arsehole.
    Let me help you out as you clearly do not have the mental capacity to figure this out,if you don’t like him,don’t read what he has to say or take the time to respond!

  169. Urban Vibes says:

    A well written piece. I just hope that justice will be served and that Oscar will not just get off and get away because he has plenty of money to throw at his problems.

  170. Antoinette says:

    Thanks Gareth. Enjoyed reading your article. Whatever the outcome, only Oscar knows what happened that night and he would have to live with that for the rest of his life. We will never really know what happened and don’t think Oscar will ever tell the whole truth about that night.

    That can eat away at a person, as he will never be same and he will always live with the thought that he killed his girlfriend. That must be hell.

    To the new girl that he is dating, well she should be very careful and rather not sleep over at his house…….

  171. Well done Gareth!!!
    I am sick and tired of powerful egotistical men, that treat women badly.
    I hope justice will prevail!

  172. I’m not really following the trail as everybody within my circle of friends and acquaintances are as I found the questioning to be rather humorous. Thanks to reading your blog I just gained a bit of insight into what I didn’t know about the people in question. I haven’t really made up my mind about the verdict but have strong opinions based on what I’ve heard so far from the initial evidence brought forward. I am inclined to say he is guilty when I look at how his general demeanour was. As the argument stands within his defence is that he assumed her to be an intruder and his reaction put together with his general fear of being attacked corroborate that. One thing we can not forget as well is a life was lost due to his quick judgement and lack of recollection that he had company within the house that night. I don’t think it’s premeditated murder rather a series of bad decisions made in addition to bad demeanour which resulted in the loss of a life even if it was an intruder.

  173. lungile says:

    Good man Gareth

  174. Darryn says:

    It is a relly sad story for everyone involved! One thing I feel is very importnt is that past behaviour does not necessarily dictate present/future behaviour. Oscar has been seen in a bad light based on his questionable behaviour but that previous behaviour does not mean that he intentionally did something wrong. Only he knows what happened that night and I just hope that all involved get the necessary closure they need whatever the outcome.

  175. Paul says:

    beautiful country we leave in… innocent till proven guilty. As things stand at moment, Oscar will be acquitted after this trial and Gareth, well rehearsed article, very cautious in what you say about Oscar, clearly shows that you pointing finger, but you do not know which direction you pointing at!

  176. Kim says:

    Well said Gareth. I was married to a man quite similar to Oscar in terms of his narcissistic behaviour, short temper and need to feel better than those around him. I was scared of him when that rage overtook him. And for those who think it’s so easy to get out of a relationship with a temperamental person, it isn’t. Because as human beings we choose to see the best in people, we work to understand their demons because we love that person. And, sadly, we believe they won’t hurt us.

    Personally, this case looks more and more like the result of a fight and a jealous rage and Oscar’s reaction to a situation he felt he needed to control. No doubt he regrets it, and no doubt he is heartbroken. But, there’s no doubt either that he does need to pay for his actions.

  177. Kel Viv says:

    Don’t generally like Gareth Cliff and very few times listen to anything he has to say. His usual banter is below the belt, unsolicited, negative and downright ignorant ramblings of an attention seeking, self centered and egotistical prick. HOWEVER this piece pretty good, infact i relate and fully agree with Gareth on this.

  178. Christie says:

    I am and will always be in Oscar’s corner, I have been since the horrific incident occurred. I have the deepest sympathy for Reeva’s family but I feel desperately bad for Oscar’s family too. Two families are ruined basically forever and that to me is the saddest part. I don’t believe Oscar shot Reeva out of blind rage, I believe it was an accident, a sort of ‘fight or flight’ panic if you wish. His demeanour is one of total regret and remorse. He’s not an actor for goodness’ sake! An arsenal of guns doesn’t mean he is a cold-blooded murderer – just look at the state of our country. Some feel more threatened than others I suspect. Anyway, well-written blog as usual, very neutral. Respect 🙂

  179. mirriam says:

    I think you are being too judgemental, let’s wait for the court proceedings to finish before we say who is guilty and the state evidence is not there for people to conclude we have to hear the defense side of the story, hear their experts cause I’m sure people like you are going to be very disappointed.

  180. Lorraine says:

    Gareth, thank you for this very articulate summary of how you feel about Oscar. I have thought of some of the things you have said, but not all, so now, I will be looking at the Court Hearing in a new light.

    One big thing that is bothering me is this, his Attorney is most concerned that some objects had been moved before and after photographing them, and is continually harping on about it. However,THIS is what is bothering me. Oscar MOVED Reeva’s body downstairs, instead of leaving her at the (crime) scene, and if he wanted to try and resuscitate her, then why didn’t he do it right where she was, instead of losing precious time by carrying her downstairs!! HE moved the most IMPORTANT piece of evidence!!! Hopefully this will still come up in Court!!

    One other thing…. If I, or anyone else was behind a door, and someone starting shooting, the first shot, if it didn’t kill you, you as sure as Hell, would scream at the top of your voice!!!! Just saying!

  181. William Harper says:

    Brilliant!

  182. Jo says:

    I agree with most of your points. I’m in the medical field and although certainly not an expert on psychiatric matters, I’ve seen a number of patients in my years of working who have displayed similar personality traits. I believe that OP has several traits compatible with antisocial personality disorder (perhaps that’s what you are picking up on in the ‘athletes psyche’). Personality ‘disorders’ are people in society who display traits on the extreme range of what’s considered ‘normal’. Prisons are full of inmates who belong to this antisocial group. Look it up – Wikipedia has a reasonable definition. Food for thought. Doesn’t excuse anything, but may help to put the pieces together.

  183. tracyv says:

    well said – well written, sadly won’t bring back Reeva. I find the whole “broadcasting” of the trial, in very poor taste. Someone died and a circus is made out of it. It’s just not right. I feel like I am part of the Roman’s watching the Gladiators for fun and “sport” So I refrain from watching it.

  184. Jenni says:

    I don’t want to make derogatory remarks against Reeva and I feel that she has lost her life but she was making a pittance out of
    Modeling. FHM only paid her R1500 for front pages whereas a Victoria model is paid millions and I feel she only dappled on modeling. With Oscar she said she was going into more classy modeling.

    They were happy and they were in
    Love and a week before her shooting in an interview with Heat magazine Reeva hoped that some secrets would not come out as she said they untrue and hoped they would not harm her relationship with OP

    We do not have to like people and if the puplic could hand him they would.

    I as a Mother see another’s pain and having to hear about her daughters last screams and the fatal shots and I can see a young man with a fantastic career over and I see a hurt boy.

    Oscar is going to go prison for murder had lost his sponsorship the money well has dried up. I would love to put my arms around Reeva’s Mom and say sorry for you love and I would like to hug OP.

  185. Carmen says:

    My thoughts are.. Whether he knew it was Reeva behind that bathroom door or an unknown intruder… he shot with the intention to kill. The “person” posed him no immediate threat behind a locked bathroom door and police could’ve been called/panic buttons can be activated (everybody with a working alarm usually has a panic in the main bedroom).. I just feel that he should atleast be honourable enough to tell her parents the truth about what happened.

  186. bokka says:

    u r a fookin goondan , weak attempt to get onto channel 199.

  187. Raffaella says:

    You are judged by the company you keep,right or wrong Reeva had strange friends.

  188. sue says:

    To be the best – better than everyone else.

    To be the best in the world.

    To know it with absolute certainty, to believe it without doubt and ultimately to achieve it.

    Only narcissism and egomania can create a champion.

  189. sharyn says:

    Gareth I often roll my eyes when you speak..but this was written with insight and compassion – thank you

  190. Carolyn says:

    Every word you said Gareth is said with such feeling. He had to have an intense will, whether it come from a dark place or a light place, to achieve and this intensity was not channeled in the right direction when it came to his social life. Sad!!

  191. Nadia says:

    Exceptionally well written – I could not agree more.
    At the end of the day you cannot judge or know what lives within the hearts and mind of other human beings.
    If we look within oursleves we also sometimes fall pray to moments of erratic behaviour.
    Only Reeva and Oscar will know what happend that day. If the courts find him guilty or not OR whether we feel he is guilty or innocent surely God will punish and direct this course.

  192. Shirley says:

    You sure nailed it. Oscar’s life is sure like your’s. You also have the PORN in common too. You so called “celebrities” are disgusting to the core.

  193. Adrienne Cochrane says:

    I’m struggling to get the purpose of this piece. Eloquent it may be, but it is only your opinion; one you are wholly unqualified to offer. You disappoint me; jumping on the “two-bit celeb’s two-cents-worth” bandwagon.

  194. fuzzy says:

    Well thought out…but whats the point to all this dribble…perhaps jumping on the bandwagon

  195. kevin tawanda mangoti says:

    I agree Mr cliff my weakness is I’m not too patient, Oscar is guilty.I felt for June and the fellow family members yesterday when captain mangena described his view of sequence of events, she was in a defensive mode obviously screaming on top of her voice probably help or babe(trying to lure oscar) but he brutally murdered her defenseless which turned to be a painful death.that guy should rot in jail.no 1 can be shot 3 shots without screaming I’m hurt hw can he be so cruel?

  196. Gareth, sad as this saga is, the bottom line is yours. I agree, that we all now wish that ‘poor Reeva could have done the same’. That is, that she and everyone else, could avoid Oscar’s emotionally precarious nature. As alluring as Oscar’s celebrity must be for some, we all need to be mindful of growing evidence of anyone we know with similar emotional afflictions. Risks need more attention sometimes than the rewards of association with people with dangerous emotional issues. We need to be discerning, kind and brave – to warn people around us, innocently trapped or unaware. RIP Reeva.

  197. Nikiwe says:

    I fully understand what you sayin Gareth, the man should have been avoided by normal people hence he has never been normal “physicological, physical, emotional” u don’t just accormodate a person like that, hoping they will change for just because society has given them a chance of being normal while they not. Its said that it ended with a tragic death for Reeva. OP’s history that we all know its not of a normal person.

  198. Tasnim Jacobs says:

    Reading about Reeva and I understand why she was drawn to Oscar.. It was in her nature to help people. In her own way perhaps that is what she has done so nobody else can suffer from his violence. What is even more scary is how many other Oscar’s are out there… Time bombs waiting to explode. RIP REEVA!!

  199. Lauren Burley says:

    If truth be told, I don’t usually listen to you on radio.

    But I think you have highlighted some very interesting and thought-provoking insights in your blog.
    What I am wondering is whether anyone (friend, family member or acquaintance) ever had the guts to stand up to Oscar and chastise him when he was acting like an arrogant, irresponsible ahole?
    Or did they just keep quiet and continue basking in the shadows of his celeb limelight? Maybe if someone he respected had talked to him seriously, this whole hideous tragedy may never have happened…we’ll never know!

  200. Alex says:

    IN MY OPINION, they had an argument, things got heated she ran into the toilet locked herself in, Oscar in his rage fired off 3 shots and killed her Cut And Dry…….

    Nobody in their right mind hears noises in his house, and does not inform or wake up his partner lying next to them and tells her babe theres somebody in the house. You dont hear a noise get up go to the loo and fire 3 shots WTF.

    IF THAT WERE THE CASE my wife would be dead 3000 times.

  201. pam says:

    I totally agree wth Alex, I dnt even understnd why ths trial is taking so long, he sholudv been sentenced by now! He needs to b in jail where all the lunatics are kept…#just_my_opinion

  202. Helen Pickard says:

    Hey Gareth it’s okay to have a gut feeling. It’s what women are born with so we are good at protecting the young and vulnerable. Love yourself for being able to feel. You don’t have to rationalize all the time.

  203. Gareth, as a person far away from the trial, not having known both, you are spot on. Your brother should have persevered and Reeva would have been alive today. The issue is not about killing Reeva. It was the brutality of the attack that still leaves me cold. With all other security measures around the estate, his actions do not make any more sense than trying to out race a stallion!

  204. Maria says:

    I think Reeva found out something about Oscar, something that was maybe worth shooting her to silence her…… Maybe he’s not the womanizer people think he is!!! Maybe the porn site he kept visiting was a male one.

  205. Great insights, Gareth. I personally believe he knew at whom he was shooting. I think at that time he was so enraged that to him that was the obvious way to deal with the situation.
    Thereafter he realized what he had done and regretted it.
    The question remains: Did he regret it because he realized that he has Killed Reeva or because it dawned on him that he Killed his Career and Ambitions.

  206. Sue says:

    Well written but I am not sure Gareth, that you have the qualifications and / or experience to comment on Oscar’s state of mind and or emotions. That’s your perceptions and opinions stated from a distance only. If Reeva, given that she was , such an awesome person , then why was she dating Oscar in the first place? Surely , being so super, if Oscar was so bad she would have known that? Read this http://oscarpistorius.com/messages-of-support/ written by people who DID KNOW Oscar and who DID spend time with him – their messages speak in complete contradiction to yours – he is very well respected and loved. Be it as it may – two sides to every story and somewhere in the middle lies the truth but it’s not for any of us to make assumptions and or judged , based on our emotional opinions.

  207. gtrain says:

    So basically he is a douche… Well tell us something new

  208. amelia says:

    Gareth, dankie. dit was nodig….ons is nou weer vriende, ek hoop.

  209. madeleine evans says:

    I put it to you Gareth – no one could have voiced their opinion in a more upstanding way than you have just done. Absolutely fantastic

  210. Riatha says:

    I think I’m overtired Gareth! When you announced you’re leaving the station this morning, I promptly burst into tears in my car – hahaha! Gonna miss you.

    Brilliant article and for everyone saying, what qualifies him to make comments… there is a little thing called Google… maybe you’ve heard of it???

    If you used it then you would know that he has a degree under his belt majoring in law, international relations, politics and history…

    SOOOO unless you have a law degree, just go far away and crawl back into your hole and stop being an internet troll… you’re sad!

  211. Jamelia says:

    I knew both these people too. I’m not one to speak well of the dead either if they didn’t deserve it and Reeva didn’t deserve it. There are no words sufficient to describe how evil that woman was. What she was too was very good at appearing all sweetness and light whilst being prepared to take the first opportunity to stab you in the back if she saw you as a problem or threat.

    Aside from the rest of the contents of the second last paragraph having been totally discredited and disproved in court, I cannot disagree with this, “the lowly and frankly dodgy company he would keep”. He did indeed, including and particularly Reeva (a small-time model still seeking fame and success at almost 30 and with an increasingly expensive cannabis habit) and the idiots he had allowed to befriend him in 2011 and 2012 who introduced him to her. Oscar is guilty of no more than being too trusting and a terrible judge of character.

  212. Sherry Woods says:

    I’ve only got around to reading your blog now. Your voice is one of sanity in this maelstrom that’s whirling around Oscar and the late Reeva, and their families, friends and colleagues too. So much rhetoric, supposition, opinions out there, it’s overwhelming. You’ve looked at the two people involved and given a clear, concise and objective take on them. Personally, I am convinced we will never know what happened in the early hours of that fateful morning when one person lost their life and the other’s was forever changed.

  213. Charmaine Brewis says:

    You have said exactly what i would have said. It is seldom people will actually speak the truth frankly, honestly and without fear of judgement. I too, only know too well, someone with a disability, has to overcome and be overcome egos, with money makes life so much more easier and easier to be a bully. With fame, your ego so much bigger. And a person with this type of narcasstic personality, possibly other personality disorders will never tell the truth.. but if you have been in the company or experienced this personality… it is easy to see how a person in a fit of range, will kill.

  214. mike lugg says:

    What a read – it is almost aa good as listening to you.
    Good Luck with unRadio – cannot wait.
    Need a voice – I’ve got one!
    Ex-702 and supersport

  215. May I simply say what a comfort to discover a person that
    genuinely understands what they’re discussing online.
    You definitely know how to bring a problem to light and make it important.
    More and more people should check this out and understand this side
    of your story. I was surprised that you aren’t more popular because
    you surely possess the gift.

  216. Marianne Olivier-Hagg says:

    I just want to say…Gareth
    I really like the way you wisely choose your words and with all respect ..you do that with respect to all. What you write is worth reading…At least you don’t give advise , judge or assume or jump to conclusions… like many people do. That shows intelligence , and that i appreciate of any man.
    What you wrote about the case is so true and also sad that a person like Oscar didn’t make time to work on his insecurities, and forgot to build a strength in time to save his character and his life.

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