About the Morning Show

Gareth Cliff has hosted the breakfast show on 5FM from 3rd July 2006… Which is longer than it takes to gestate a child. 5FM Mornings is now over a year old - making sure that you have everything you need to get you going in the mornings…the best music, humour, news, weather, sport, traffic, fun, phone calls…whatever you need to get you through the day. 

Gareth has become well-known for his irreverence and intelligence and will continue to share challenging, bold and entertaining opinions with listeners and guests. If you want to know all about the show, tune in anywhere in South Africa every morning between 6h00 and 9h00.

The Cast

Leigh-Ann Mol Drunken news woman	Thabo Modisane Executive Producer	Damon Kalvari Thabo's Assistant
The News Anchor, the animal whisperer, the lush. Leigh-Ann is very rude to Gareth, which seems to amuse lots of people – she also lives with about 36 cats, which should make her worried. Leigh-Ann provides backing vocals on some little-known trance hits. Her bizarre form of Norwegian throat singing is entirely unique. Executive Producer, struggle hero, father of two and music expert. Sometime Master of the Universe. Thabo has an enormous office on the 27th floor of the SABC building with a thick-pile carpet and a giant oak desk. His diary is full until 2010. Thabo’s only serious lack of judgement seems to have been the hiring of his assistant, Damon. Content Producer, whipping boy, and still dating Berenice. Damon is the genetic twin of actor Richard Kind (look him up) – who played Paul Lassiter on Spin City. He’s much more annoying though. Damon weighs a whopping 120 kg and is depressed. He also performs backtreet chiropractic work and is always in trouble. He works in isolation from the rest of the team because he farts.
Bra' Matthews Phuza Thursday Shop Steward	Sias Du Plessis The Ginger	Mabale Moloi Trafficologist
Bra’ Matthews has championed the cause of Phuza Thursday since Gareth nominated him as first Shop Steward in early 2007. He is the official in charge of t-shirt allocations, Phuza Thursday rules and the Phuza Thursday promotion council. Bra’ Matthews downs two bottles of Jack every Thursday, leads by example, and never, ever drives drunk. “It’s Phuuuuuuuuza Thezday!” is his only intelligible quote in 20 years. Our sports coach, father of Blake, and Durban Ginger. He loves all sport, even though he has put on quite a bit of weight since starting the show in January. Did I mention that Sias has ginger hair is unlikely to father an Indian baby? He has a pretty wife and lives about 914km away from the studio in the deep Free State. He is an avid Newcastle United supporter, even though he has never been to Newcastle. The caller who made it into the studio, senior trafficologist and taunter of Gareth. Mabale fears nothing – being from Qwa Qwa, she isn’t used to much. She now fearlessly leads Gareth’s Girls and occasionally presents programmes on Soweto Community Television. Mabale’s ex-boyfriend, Tlaranthlope makes regular, unpopular visits to the studio from Qwa Qwa on a donkey-cart. Mabale is only 12 years old.
Jennifer Su Entertainment Guide	Berenice Damon's girlfriend	Suelette No.1 Fan
Hollywood reporter extraordinaire, Jen’s parents were on the last boat out of China before Mao could hunt them down. Jen also presents the financial update on Summit television and SA Business Report on SKY News. She has two children and takes photographs of everything. She is also Barbra Streisand’s only friend. Berenice has been in love with Damon from the moment she first realised she could tell him what to do. Since then, she has become less and less in love with him. Damon spills things on her recipe books, gets her into trouble with the body corporate and eats her out of house and home. She must be mentally ill. Suelette is a fan of the show. She lives in the farthest corner of the East Rand and is married to Gert, a panelbeater. At the age of 18 she had already given birth to 4 children and now runs a boerewors caravan from her Dad’s plot.
Management Wicked and foul	Elizabeth The Homeless Woman	Kirk Douglas Ageing Star
Management are in charge of 5FM. They worship the devil and devour infants. Elizabeth has no house and lives under a bridge near Mouille Point in Cape Town. If she had a house to plug in her radio, she would listen to our show. Whenever Gareth feels guilty about anything he buys her airtime for her cell phone, which was stolen for her by her son. Since his stroke, Kirk has struggled to get radio work, or even eat a solid meal – but we gave him the job of introducing Leigh-Ann’s News. He still does this, but only when his wife and curator untie his bonds. What keeps Kirk going is his pride in his son, Michael Douglas.
Fabio The Love Professor	John Schmerkowitz, Bernie Berkowitz and Arnie Malpractowitz The Law
Fabio is the Professor of Love. He has been in the business of spreading romance, love and sexiness since puberty. Fabio is currently Head of Department in the German Love Hospital in Baden Hautkopf unter Ulm in Bavaria. His infrequent appearances on the show depend largely on the presence of attractive women and envelopes filled with money. Rest assured, if there’s a girl, he’ll charm her. It is rumoured that he even conceived a child with Feminist stalwart Gloria Steinem, such is his magnetism. Resident firm of attorneys utilised by The Gareth Cliff Show – a moderately-sized firm, founder John Schmerkowitz prides himself on scrupulous work and finding all manner of loophole. Schmerkowitz, Berkowitz and Malpractowitz have performed services as official auditors of all our competitions, regularly represent Gareth before the Broadcasting Complaints Commission, and have overseen complaints against Damon for dropping calls and non-performance of duties.