About the Morning Show

Gareth Cliff has hosted the breakfast show on 5FM from 3rd July 2006… Which mean that 2011 sees our 5th birthday - making sure that you have everything you need to get you going in the mornings…the best music, humour, news, weather, sport, traffic, fun, phone calls…whatever you need to get you through the day. Find out more about the show at http://5fm.co.za/djs/gareth-cliff and make sure you tell your friends to tune in. Hell, even your enemies... Even bad people deserve good radio.

Here are the people you'll hear on 5FM in the mornings:

Leigh-Ann Mol: The News Anchor, the animal whisperer, the drunk. Leigh-Ann is very rude to Gareth, which seems to amuse lots of people – she also farms cats, is divorced and forgets where she parks her car. Leigh-Ann provides backing vocals on some little-known trance hits. Her bizarre form of Norwegian throat singing is entirely unique, as is her Hockey song, and her very large chest area.

Thabo Modisane: Executive Producer, struggle hero, father of two and music expert. Sometime Master of the Universe. Thabo has an enormous office on the 27th floor of the SABC building with a thick-pile carpet and a giant oak desk. His diary is full until 2015. Thabo’s only serious lack of judgement seems to have been the hiring of his assistant, Damon.

Mabale Moloi: The caller who made it into the studio, senior trafficologist and taunter of Gareth. Mabale fears nothing – being from Qwa Qwa, she isn’t used to much. Her best friend is her donkey, Motlailpule. Mabale enjoys watching Ben 10, Disney channel and shopping for shoes. Mabale is now 16 years old.

Damon Kalvari: Thabo Modisane's Assistant. married to Bernice. Damon is the twin of actor Richard Kind (look him up) – who played Paul Lassiter on Spin City. He’s much more annoying though. Damon weighs a whopping 120 kg and is depressed. He also performs backstreet chiropractic work and is always in trouble. He works in isolation from the rest of the team because he farts.

Sias Du Plessis: Sports coach, father of Blake, and Durban Ginger. He loves all sport, but commentates on EFC fights. Did I mention that Sias has ginger hair is unlikely to father an Indian baby? He has a pretty wife and lives about 914km away from the studio in the deep Free State. He is an avid Newcastle United supporter, even though he has never been to Newcastle.

Jen Su: Hollywood reporter. Jen’s parents were on the last boat out of China before Mao could hunt them down. Jen also presents the financial update on Summit television and SA Business Report on SKY News. She has two children and takes photographs of everything. She is also likely to be seen at EVERY event in South Africa, even if there are four on the same night. 

Bernice Kalvari: Bernice has been in love with Damon from the moment she first realised she could tell him what to do. Since then, she has become less and less in love with him. Damon spills things on her recipe books, gets her into trouble with the body corporate and eats her out of house and home. She must have mental health issues.

Management: Management are in charge of 5FM. They worship the devil and devour infants.

Kirk Douglas: Since his stroke, Kirk has struggled to get radio work, or even eat a solid meal – but we gave him the job of introducing Leigh-Ann’s News. He still does this, but only when his wife and curator untie his bonds. What keeps Kirk going is his pride in his son, Michael Douglas.

John Schmerkowitz, Bernie Berkowitz and Arnie Malpractowitz: Resident firm of attorneys utilised by The Gareth Cliff Show – a moderately-sized firm, founder John Schmerkowitz prides himself on scrupulous work and finding all manner of loophole. Schmerkowitz, Berkowitz and Malpractowitz have performed services as official auditors of all our competitions, regularly represent Gareth before the Broadcasting Complaints Commission, and have overseen complaints against Damon for dropping calls and non-performance of duties.